The hardest lesson to impart is to SLOW DOWN in terms of how we treat our hair. Most of us are much too aggressive in the shower, agitating our scalp and hair much too much and furthering problems such as frizz. What we do in the shower does effect how our hair will look once it dries.
A slow, deliberate, circular massaging motion on the scalp is all it takes to cleanse the scalp. A cleanser needs only be scrunched into the hair itself in order to break up product; there is no need to "scrub" the lengths.
Conditioning is much the same. Once conditioner is applied, work through slowly with your fingers or a wide-tooth comb. Once hair has been detangled and the hair feels slick and "noodly," gently scrunch the conditioner into the lengths to cultivate your curl. You are essentially re-setting your hair when you wet it down; this is the time to help reshape your curls. It helps to either lean from side to side to let the hair fall freely from the scalp, or to bend forward at the waist while detangling and scrunching. Rinse with COOL water.
When you scrunch-blot your hair, again--SLOW IT DOWN. One should do this without a sense of rush. Don't over-blot and make sure to leave a bit of water in the hair to better aid in application of a styler.
When applying your styler (gel, leave-in moisturizer, hair dressing) work from the ends up, in a similar fashion as you would your conditioner, scrunching slowing from ends to scalp. You should hear a definite "squish" sound as the styler is integrated into your curls. When the product has left your hands, you're done. Don't overwork your curls.
It is crucial to bear in mind that slowing things down takes practice, as we are used to (often) feeling rushed when getting ready. It may not feel completely natural at first to be this gentle with your hair, but give it time and a bit of patience. It may seem like you're spending longer on your hair because you're moving more slowly. In actuality, it takes less time utilizing a gentler, more methodical approach, as your motions are simplified and you spend less time futzing with your hair. Eliminate your wasted motion.
Each day you will become more and more familiar with how your hair feels at certain points along the process of cleansing, conditioning, towel-blotting, and styling. You are basically getting to know your hair all over again. :)